motherhoodismycardio

Since we moved in eight years ago, we’ve had a wobbly, dilapidated fence separating us from neighbor Susan.  We steer clear of it, but it’s always worried us.  What if it falls?  At best, there would be rusty nails, at worst, there would be a wee child underneath.

So last night we were joking (as we often do) that we should just tear down the fence and live like we’re on some sort of polygamy compound.  Except my husband heard us and said he could have that fence down in about 3 minutes.  We all stared at each other for a moment, and then Susan’s husband yelled “Mr. Gorbachev! Tear down this wall!”

And so we did.

The kids are thrilled.

Sadly, Susan and I would make terrible, terrible polygamists.  We both really like our own personal husbands, and neither one of us can cook worth a damn.

We do, however, wear the same shoe size.  Hmmmm.  Perhaps we can work something out.

So if you’re just tuning in, I recently scraped together enough money to rewallpaper my kitchen, then I swindled my poor in-laws into hanging the wallpaper for me, and then I selected rugs, curtains and other fabric in a brilliant shade of hot pink which turned out to be horrible in so many ways.

After I recovered from The Great Pink Debacle, I decided to keep my old sisal rugs (which were a golden yellow color – a perfect match to my yellow-y granite countertop) and I selected fabric for the curtains in a shade of cream, gray, and sunshine yellow.  And I’ve accented the room in a sort of Tiffany turquoise.

None of this was my original plan, but I think it’s turned out to be a happy accident.

Ok, before we get to the photos of my newly redecorated kitchen, I just have to share with you that I went a COMPLETELY different way than I’d intended.  Completely.

I selected my wallpaper based on the fact that I wanted it to be understated and clean.  And?  I wanted it to match this amazing rug I’d purchased.  The rug in question was covered in dinner plate-sized hot pink polka dots.  And it was awesome.

Behold:

After I ordered my wallpaper, I began daydreaming about my new gray and hot pink kitchen.  It was going to be fabulous! Pink! In a kitchen!  So different and fun!  I selected fabric for curtains and more fabric for my bulletin boards.  It was all coming together!

So, my in-laws came and worked their buns off and after many messy hours, my kitchen was wallpapered.  I wasted no time cleaning up the mess and by nightfall I’d placed my new rugs on the floor and stood back to bask in the glory of my long-awaited fabulousness.

And?  It was awful.  Terrible.  Hideous.

Something was wrong!  On paper (and in my mind), it was fantastic!  Where did I go wrong?

It was the granite.  After taking down the old red  wallpaper, the granite and backsplash suddenly looked, well, orange.  And all that hot pink clashed magnificently with my countertops.

I’m not going to lie to you, Internet, I had a little cry.  Then I agonized for days about what I was going to do.  I lost SLEEP over wallpaper, you guys.  (First world problem, anyone?)

Tomorrow, I’ll show you what I came up with instead.

ps – I have a lovely pink polka dot rug I’m selling.  Never used! Well, except to dry my tears.

1. On our way home from dropping William off at school, Paige and I came upon a huge dump truck on our neighborhood street that was, at that precise moment, dumping its entire load.  We were mesmerized as only pre-schoolers can be about dump trucks dumping.  I rolled down the window and told the driver he’d just made our whole day.

2. William decided to eat his breakfast in the dining room this morning and kept calling me in to see the birds in the yard.  As we stood there, a robin caught a wriggly worm.  We cheered.

3. Paige wore a brand new dress covered in cartoon flamingoes today.  She chose it specifically because her teacher collects flamingoes.  Miss Kelly reacted perfectly to seeing Paige in her dress – with a big gasp and lots of attention.  Paige was so proud.

4. Today is Susan’s birthday and I delivered a cupcake (Boston cream pie!) to her.  It’s become a tradition – the cupcake delivering.  I love traditions.  Also, I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t have a Susan next door.

5. William, while at the dinner table, leapt up and raced away to, um, well, to toot.  Then Dave taught him a new trick: walk a lap around the living room to “fumigate his behind”.  William was thrilled at the discovery and the rest of us were grateful he was far away.

6. I got a massage (totally unplanned!) at a new place near our house.  At one point, the therapist WALKED ON ME.  Dude.

Months and months ago I began saving every penny from birthday gifts and Christmas presents in order to re-wallpaper my kitchen. It was done in a lovely red and white toile when we moved in eight years ago and I adored it. However, I have become tired of it (to say the least – I’ve begun to loathe it, actually). So every time I’d wander past a store with wallpaper books I’d flip through the pages and dream of the day I could rid myself of the French scenes in my kitchen.

Finally, this Christmas I determined I had saved enough and placed my order for new paper. I also called my sister-in-law (a seasoned DIYer) and asked if she’d help me hang the new paper when the time came. And here’s the part that astonishes me (now): she agreed without hesitation. I didn’t think anything of it at the time (having never hung wallpaper myself), but now that the project is over, I am AGOG that she agreed so readily.

You see, wallpapering is incredibly hard work! And requires a boatload of supplies (all of which she toted to my house from her hometown two hours away). Add to this, the fact that her husband (Dave’s older brother) came along and ended up doing half the work.

So, essentially, I owe my in-laws a great debt. At least an arm, if not an entire leg.

Oh but it’s so worth it! Because SQUEEEEE I love my new kitchen! I will post before and afters tomorrow.

A few years ago I bought an inexpensive leather couch with the thought that it just had to make it through the toddler years at my house, and then we’d invest in a nicer model.

And then the economy crashed.

So hey! We still have our bargain couch! And it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Which is actually fine because it’s held up remarkably well. Yes, it’s cream leather, but any dirt just wipes off with a damp cloth. At this point, I plan to keep it until it falls apart (or we win the lottery).

There’s only one problem.

You see, because it’s a cheap-o sofa, it has the most hideous back. I mean it. It’s hideous. Which would be fine if I had it pushed up against a wall, but the way my living room is laid out, it has to “float” in the middle of the room – thus exposing its unattractive backside to the world. Poor couch.

I decided the solution to the problem would be a pretty bench that could stretch right along the back of the couch and distract from The Ugly. I decided this, oh, at least a year ago, but I haven’t been able to find something in my price range (which is like, $10!). Which is how it came to be that I talked my husband into MAKING me a bench. I mean, how hard could it BE, right?

It turns out, not that hard, but super expensive!

We went to Lowe’s and priced furniture legs. They’re $11 each! And we needed (not surprisingly) FOUR. Plus the wood for the bench PLUS foam and upholstery fabric. Whoa! We’re flying dangerously close to $60!

So I said “forget it” and we headed home from Lowe’s empty-handed. Boo hoo!

Oh but wait! On our way home from Lowe’s we drove past a garage sale. And at that garage sale was a beat-up sofa table with a $20 price tag. Dave talked them down to TEN DOLLARS and we were on our way!

We just cut the legs down to size, added felt to the bottom of the legs, some foam and upholstery fabric and viola! Bench!

Jenny Komenda would be so proud, don’t you think?

In an effort to rid our home of those horrid marshmallow Peeps leftover from Easter, I encouraged my children to heat them in the microwave and watch them grow to three-times their normal size.

So, now my kids think I am The Most Awesome Mom Ever AND the Peeps are gone.

I’m a pretty much a genius, y’all.