My cousin and his wife are preparing to celebrate the first birthday of their baby twins. The invitation arrived last week and it was truly a work of art. It was hand-lettered. The message was delivered in rhyme. The return address label was personalized with a photo of the boys. My god it was adorable.
And also totally over the top.
Which reminded me of myself 8 years ago when I was planning my first born’s first birthday. Only I was baaaaad at it. I thought I was good! But I wasn’t. There was nothing “hand-lettered” and “adorable” about it.
For starters, the “theme” (oh my GOSH I had a THEME… what the HECK, me?) was “cowboy”. Why? Because William’s nursery was cowboy themed (yes, my NURSERY had a THEME and it was COWBOY. GAG. VOMIT). Why was William’s nursery cowboy themed? Was it because we are ranchers? Because we know ranchers? Or perhaps because we aspire to be ranchers? No. It was cowboy themed because I thought cowboy themed was cute and there was no one around to shake me and tell me I was being ridiculous. You guys? I hung (read: made my poor husband hang) an ACTUAL SADDLE on his wall. For decoration. In a baby’s room. Because nothing says “welcome to the world wee little baby” like A SADDLE.
Why did no one slap me in the mouth?
So the “theme” for the first birthday was “cowboy”. The invitations were bandana and denim. And of COURSE they rhymed! God bless my heart. And the cake? An actual THREE DIMENSIONAL BARN. With little cake animals hanging out of the little cake barn doors. Would you like to know how much I paid for that cake? FIFTY AMERICAN DOLLARS. No I will not shut up. I’m serious.
Oh and I had denim table cloths and bandana centerpieces and old boots stuffed with wheat stalks and HAY BALES on the front porch.
For a one year old.
But here’s the best part – the part that I cannot BELIEVE not one OPENLY laughed at – it’s the part where I convinced my husband to DRESS FOR THE THEME BY WEARING DENIM OVERALLS. Hand to God, y’all, this man wore Howdy-Doody style overalls IN LATE JUNE IN OKLAHOMA. Complete with BANDANDA AROUND HIS NECK and COWBOY HAT.
BAAAAAHAHAHAHA *GASP* HAAAAAABAWAHAHAHA
Someone needs to give him a medal. And a flask. God bless him.
December 19, 2012 at 8:06 am
The only question I have is WHERE ARE THESE PHOTOS? David is such a good sport
December 19, 2012 at 12:26 pm
WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS?????
December 19, 2012 at 2:22 pm
What Shannon said.
December 19, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Um, yes, we NEED PHOTOS.
FWIW, I threw a circus themed party for Jude’s birthday in which I HANDMADE PARTY HATS WITH POMPOM DECORATIONS FOR EACH GUEST.
Slap me now.
Also, our Elf on the Shelf has moved twice this month. TWICE. FAILURE.
December 20, 2012 at 3:51 am
Photos, photos!
As the token childless couple, we often wonder (ponder? pontificate?) aloud about how we will do things when the time comes. We recall the days of our youth: ahh, “family party” and the joyous occasion of “one friend allowed to spend the night.” I’m sure things are completely different now and we are in for a rude awakening, but it is fun to Monday-morning-quarterback other people’s parenting decisions. And your husband? Medal of Honor for the saddle. And Father of the Year for the overalls.
One of my favorite new traditions is surfing people’s inappropriate Elf on the Shelf photos (Baby Rabies). Like the one where he goes ape shit and runs a knife through the leather couch (The Bloggess). I can tell already I will never be Elf on the Shelf people!