“Hello, I’m Rita and I am in denial”.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?
Since he was a little guy, my boy has struggled to listen and pay attention. He’s highly distractable, reminding me of the dog on the movie “Up”, who would stop and yell SQUIRREL! at random times. That’s my kid. Always seeing squirrels.
But I though, hey, I’m this kid’s mother and he is just as God made him, and I am going to LOVE this right out of him! Yes! I will put him in a school where he only has to attend twice per week. I will homeschool him the other days where he will have a quiet environment and plenty of time to complete his assignments!
I will bend the space/time continuum for this kid! Yes I will!
And you know what? My little plan worked for a while! It sure did! Will is super smart, so all those things the teacher was saying while he was looking out the window at squirrels didn’t matter, because he could just figure it out for himself. It was only 1st and 2nd grade, after all.
But now here we are 2 weeks into third grade and things are bumpy. I started seeing this at the end of 2nd grade and I attributed it to school fatigue (denial!). The truth is, he can’t keep up. He cannot pay attention, no matter what we (me, his teacher, JESUS) do. We need help.
So, we’re having William evaluated by a professional. Ugh! I hate it. I hate “evaluated” and “professional”, like he’s a fancy computer that just needs to be re-booted by an Apple Genius.
But here’s the story that I tell myself: i tell myself that if he walked with a pronounced limp, he might be able to keep up for a while, but over time, the other kids would outrun him. Not only that, but he’d start to feel bad about his limp – like he wasn’t as good as the other children. And no matter how hard he’d try, he’d never be able to run as fast.
That wouldn’t be fair, right? And I’d totally take him to the doctor to have his limp checked out, right? Yes!
But how do you “fix” someone’s BRAIN? And by fixing it, will we alter his little personality? Because I loooooove this kid. I don’t want him to be fixed!
But is that like loving the “limp”? I don’t know.
But this is where we are.
I suppose I wrote this so I’d remember how bad it was when someday it’s much better.