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I Blame the Moon for All of It

2 Comments

Hello blog! I missed you!

This week we’ve had something called a blood moon.  Sounds like title to a Dean Koontz book doesn’t it? But it’s not.  It’s a lunar eclipse!  One where the sun’s light shining through the earths atmosphere reflects off the moon creating an orange-red color on the full moon.

I find things like lunar eclipses interesting.  Mainly because I’m convinced that they make humans act wacko.  No, I am not one of the many who declared the blood moon to be a sign of the End Times, I just think lunar events make people act weird in general.

Which is why I wasn’t all that surprised on Tuesday evening when a man exposed himself to me in the parking lot of Lowes.

Yes.  You read that right.

I was pulling into the parking lot via the “back way” (I take a neighborhood street to get there and thus, avoid the traffic on the main roadway).  As I was circling around the parking lot in my car I glanced over in time to see a man getting out of his 2 door sedan.  At least I *thought* he was getting out.  He was turned sideways with both his feet planted on the ground, as if he were getting ready to hoist himself up out of the car.

But then I noticed that he was petting a small animal in his lap.  Except, yeah, that wasn’t a squirrel or a kitten.  He was, well, how do I put this delicately? Let’s say it this way: had it BEEN a squirrel, he would have been REALLY petting it.  Like, I would have had to call animal control or something.  Because: SQUIRREL ABUSE!

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I clutched my pearls and shrieked.  Then I called the police and reported him.

And then I went on about my day while quietly blaming the moon.

 

ps: Susan’s reply when I texted about all this: “Wow, he really gets off on home improvement”.

 

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Author: Rita Ortloff

highly caffeinated mother of two. part-time homeschooler and marketing manager. full-time wife and mother. lover of books, the ipad, and any animal with fur. hater of spiders and spanx.

2 thoughts on “I Blame the Moon for All of It

  1. OMfreakingG. Didn’t you have some other story about a full moon and something crazy happening awhile back on this blog? I have a vague memory of laughing really hard. :) Btw, I’ve missed you!!!

  2. Ewwww. I completely agree on the full moon theory. I can tell by the way people drive that the moon is full.

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